10 things I would tell my younger self.

10 things I'd tell my younger self. 

     Me aged 14 at secondary school. 

1) Spend as much time as you can with family. Pretty self explanatory, but during my teens I avoided this a lot. It's one of my biggest regrets. Time is of the essence and it's time you won't get back. Enjoy your family while you can.

2) Stop being so god damn moody! I've always been a bit of an 'angry Anderson' as mum would call me. But I wish I'd spent more time enjoying some of the amazing experiences I've had rather than being a moody little rat bag. 

3) It's ok to be anxious, but don't let it rule your life. Too much of my life has been wasted because I've let anxiety overrule doing something. I've come to the conclusion of if you're with the right people they won't care if you have a panic attack and be sick. They'll probably just laugh and get over it. And you will too. 

4) Stay away from lambrini... Cracking your tooth and splitting your lip open will be one of your worst teenaged memories. And the boy you were trying to impress doing so will tell you he thinks your a prat and never speak to you again.

5) Alevels are not the be all and end all. You'll do shit. You'll get over it. 

6) It's ok to enjoy reading, science, poetry and history. You'll be a font of random facts when you're older and who cares what other people think anyway? Bringing me to number...

7) Don't give a shit about what people think about you. You're just like marmite and the people who care about you wouldn't have you any other way. Annoying as you might be. 

8) You'll never understand boys. And that is normal. They don't understand you either. 

9) Don't tell somebody you love them when you don't. It makes things awkward and a lot more serious than you'd actually really care for. 

10) You will be called fat more times than you're own name (ok maybe an exaggeration) and yes you will have a weight problem, it's all part of this thing called becoming an adult. You make bad food choices. One day it will click and things will change. And everyone who called you fat can take a big fat middle finger and a f*ck you.

Finally, you'll turn out a relatively average human. So don't worry. Enjoy the present. 

I have nothing to wear...

Long time no blogging... I admit I really have had no interest in writing on my blog for a while. So I thought it was about time I sat my bum down and wrote a post.

If you follow me on instagram you'll probably be somewhat aware of the fact as of recent months I have lost a substantial amount of weight, in the past I have written posts about my weight journey and you can read that HERE. My weight has forever been a huge issue for me, and the labels 'fat' have been a badge I've carried along with it.

I noticed towards the end of last August my weight was beginning to rapidly increase (again), I'd stopped listening to my hypnotherapy regularly and I was generally in a pretty weird place in terms of my self confidence being relatively newly single, and living 30 miles away from the town I grew up in. With my 21st fast approaching I realised I could not let myself get back to the 15st 4lb heffalump I had previously been. Before my birthday I had lost a little weight but nothing substantial, and after the celebrating was over I made a commitment to myself that I would lose the weight and (hopefully) this time keep it off. A few stern words from my nurse also got my bum kicked into gear.

I became really strict with my hypnotherapy, and also began doing the 5:2 diet alongside it. As for 5:2 I won't go into the ins and outs of it in this post. However I would definitely recommend it to anybody who is quite a fussy or picky eater as it doesn't make you eat certain food groups you normally wouldn't nor restrict you from having a treat now and then.

So here I am 31lbs lighter. I started out at 14st 11lbs, and now I'm 12st 8lbs, with around another stone or so to lose before I reach the target that myself and the nurse discussed would be a much healthier weight for me. Although I'm ecstatic with my weight loss, I have noticed one thing, much to my surprise that I have not grown more confident in my body however much more self conscious. A lot of it stems from my general all round anxiety but also that I have absolutely not the foggiest what suits my new body shape. Every day I find myself staring into the abyss of my wardrobe and thinking 'What the fuck am I going to wear', not being aided by the fact that I have one pair of jeans that fit me and at the moment I've been living in jeans and long sleeve tops because they're the only things I don't feel like Shamu in. I realise this is very much mind over matter and some people will read this thinking #firstworldproblems, but I wondered if anybody else had experienced the same type of thing. I realise my body is not the 15 stone blob it used to be, but it is very difficult to begin to love yourself and let anybody else love your body when you've struggled to even look in the mirror at it for the past few years. Anyway enough of the rambles.

Hopefully it won't be so long until my next post! But until then thanks for reading!

Hannah -ox 

The other 'f' word.

Hello tiddly peeps! I realise it's been some time since I wrote on my humble little blog! 

Today's post is different to my beauty posts it's about that other 'f' word, it's something I feel that as of recent had plagued my life. 

If you haven't already read my weight journey post, then you won't know that weight is something I've always struggled with. I get stressed I eat I put on weight. Simple. 

Now the real reason I'm posting this is after witnessing a conversation in Sainsbury's the other day, where a girl of around 12/13 told her mum she was fat. (Baring in mind I've seen more fat on a pork chop). I was utterly stunned when her mum then turned to her and said 'well I've been telling you you need to go on a diet for months.' Right then and there I think my heart broke, knowing how it feels to be that young and be so unhappy about yourself. 

I've come to the conclusion that there seems to be two types of women in this world, those who celebrate femininity whether your petite or of the more voluptuous variety. 

And those who feel it is adequate to pick apart others because they don't fit in 'perfectly'.  Don't be this woman. 

I've come to the decision from now on that whenever I even think something negative about another person I will give myself a good talking to and try to recognise the real beauty in them. 

This post is dedicated to all girls who have ever felt insecure about their appearance. 

You are not a weight on a scale, a picture on Instagram, you are not the comments you receive good or bad. You are a beautiful creation, you are your mind and your charm and wit. 

Don't ever put yourself down. Own your body because it's the only one you'll ever have. If you want to change something do it only for yourself. 

Don't think that because you're not societies ideology of 'perfect' you're not allowed to love and be loved. Let me tell you any man who judges you solely on what junks in your trunk needs driving off the edge of a cliff. 

That's it then. Let's ban the other 'f' word and celebrate ourselves for the beautiful people we are. 

Finally if you read this post and still have the audacity to call a sister fat. Then your an absolute fucking idiot. Yes that's the real 'f' word right there. 

Hannah-ox 

Laid back Sunday.

Generally my weekends are never really 'relaxing' I'm either working or travelling to my boyfriends. 

This Sunday it was really good to just have a nice day with my mum! 

When I got home from work we ate breakfast, I had a sleep and we decided to go for late lunch/early tea in York. 

Outfit: Fisherman's Jumper- Primark, Skinny Jeans - Asos, Coat - Wallis, Vintage Riding Boots, Louis Speedy. 

This is pretty much a go to outfit for me, I like to be comfortable and I pretty much live in skinny jeans! 

In York we ate at one of my favourite restaurants Biltmore Bar and Grill. -We actually had my sixth form dinner here too!

Mum had to get a snap of me with a glass of wine as it is a very rare occasion when I have a drink! I'm such an old lady - haha!

 To start I had Mussels, let me tell you these are the best muscles I have ever had! They were absolutely gorgeous and really meaty! A definite must try for anyone visiting!

For my main I had my all time favourite, Thai red curry with monk fish and prawns this is gorgeous and has a really clean heat which I love! 

If you're in the York area you must try The Biltmore! You won't regret it!

Hope you enjoyed this different post today! 

Hannah -ox

The Clarisonic Plus!

The Clarisonic seems to be a love it or hate it product within the beauty community, it took a lot of researching and blog reading before I even thought about committing to buy it.

What I seemed to find was that most people with dry sensitive skins did not like this, whereas those with more combination oily skin, and acne prone skin felt like it made a huge difference. 

Falling into the oily/combo/acne skin range I decided (after much deliberation) I would purchase this after Christmas. 

Luckily for me the Clarisonic did get reduced from £179.00 to £143.20 just after Christmas, so with my £75.00 worth of vouchers I was given as a gift from my boyfriend, I only paid £68.20 of my own money towards it. 

I personally chose the 'plus' over the 'Mia' because there's three different speeds (the Mia has two), a body brush setting, and it also came with 3 trial size cleansers, a body polish, and a body brush head. 

The Clarisonic also comes with 2 years warranty, which I felt comforted by as electrical products tend to hate me! haha!

The Plus itself feels expensive, it's good quality, sturdy, and got a nice weight to it. I know these things seem trivial but when you're buying something priced at £179 you expect it to feel/look worth the price.

Obviously being a typical girly girl I went for the baby pink, as I knew I wouldn't get sick of the colour, I have to say I'm extremely glad it came with the sensitive brush head as after research I'm more than certain that some of the others would be way too harsh on my skin. 

Now down to the nitty gritty... I have been using this for over a month now and I have to say I've noticed a definite improvement in my skin, it is much more supple, and I've definitely noticed a difference in my pigmentation and acne scars. My skin has over the past three months been acting up again, I get hormonal acne in cycles, and generally it does get worse around this time of year and with stress, therefore in terms of my cystic acne it's not changed, I was expecting to get a big 'skin purge' as everyone calls it but I honestly so far haven't noticed any changes or difference in my breakouts. I think if you skin maybe wasn't acne prone already you maybe would notice this more. I use this after I've taken the bulk of my makeup off at night, it gives such a lovely refreshing and deeper clean, perfect if you wear heavy duty foundations like me!

The body brush setting is also great, and much more gentle than I was expecting, definitely a good one for anyone who is a lazy exfoliater!

I love this little machine and I'm very happy I decided to purchase it.

Personally I do think it's very expensive and there are cheaper alternatives and competitors out there, one thing I will say is that the general up keep is also expensive, replacement brush heads are priced at £21 for one, or £35 for two. I have noticed that there's a definite price difference between the UK and the US (you guys get all the best deals!) so I think I will stock up on brush heads when I go to NYC in March.  

I've also really enjoyed the gentle hydro cleanser which came as one of the samples however I've been reluctant to buy the full size as I feel I could find something similar for less than £21. 

Overall I would say if you have the money to spare this is a good investment, but also be aware that the upkeep is also not cheap! I am happy I purchased this even if it did give me a little pain in my wallet! 

Thanks for reading! Have you tried any Clarisonic competitors?

Hannah -ox

Collection Glam Crystal Eyeliners.

from left to right: va va voom, hustle, funk.

I was perusing the makeup stands in Boots a few days ago searching for a glitter eyeliner for the festive season, being that I was only really going to use it a few times in the next few weeks I wasn't really wanting to spend a lot. 

I first of all checked Barry M and nothing really took my fancy, and then went on to the Collection stand, I then found these beautys! 

I couldn't choose which colour I preferred so ended up with three! 

Va va voom: A greeny blue and pink glitter, as you can see from the swatches above it is not as pigmented as the other two, but it is still super pretty none the less.

Hustle: A blue toned silver glitter, very very pigmented and beautiful!

Funk: A gold toned glitter, this goes literally with any eye shadow, and is a little more subtle than the other two shades.

These liners dry almost instantly, and don't transfer, they also don't flake so you don't end up with chunks of glitter down your cheeks!

The best thing is the price these are £2.99 each a real bargain particularly if you're on a budget this Christmas.

I would definitely recommend!

Thanks for reading!

Hannah -ox

Yankee Candle: White Christmas

White Christmas is one of my all time favourite Yankee Candle scents, I fill with joy when it gets to this time of year and I can pull one of my reserves out and start burning it again!

It is very different from the traditional spiced scents that you usually find at Christmas, don't get me wrong I do love these too but there is something about White Christmas that I just love more and more everytime I burn it.

The scent itself is described as 'woodsy evergreens' and 'freshly fallen snow', I'm not 100% sure what either of those things exactly smell like, the best way I can describe this myself is as extremely clean and fresh, when you burn it, it smells like you've just done a fresh load of laundry. I feel like this sort of scent is one for everyone as it's neither heavily floral or spiced. It smells similar to another one of my favourites balsam cedar.

If you haven't smelt either scents I defnitely recommend you giving them a sniff next time you're near a yankee store!

Thanks for reading! 

Hannah -ox