My Weight Journey...

Today's post is a little different, for a while I've wanted to write a post about the struggles I've had with my weight, and I feel I'm finally at a place where I feel comfortable speaking about it.

Firstly I'll talk about my current weight, although I won't publicly announce it, I aren't happy at my current weight, but I'm a lot happier than I have been in recent years. I'm a size 16 on bottom and a 14/16 on top, however having a size 36-38 E/F (it varies from where I shop) the size top I choose regularly has to be bigger to allow room for my bust. 

(This picture was taken at the beginning of September)

My issues with my weight have always been down to food, I've had a difficult relationship with food probably since I started puberty about 11/12, I always had a healthy appetite when I was younger, but as I go older and was aloud to eat what I chose I began to put on weight.

When I started secondary school I soon became conscious of my image, and I remember one night sitting and crying to my Mum about boys calling me fat. I decided to start losing weight, eating more veg etc. Like most girls I soon realised that skipping meals meant that you could lose weight much quicker, and I got to a point where I would have no breakfast, no lunch, a cuppa soup when I got in from school, and then I'd regularly try to avoid my tea but mostly would be made to eat it by my Mum.

(This is me around fourteen) 

I was soon very slim a size 10 and around 8 and a half stone. When I look at this picture now I realise that I was tiny compared to what I later became, however back then I still felt uncomfortable with my figure and regularly felt 'fat'.

As I got older I grew out of this particularly after getting a few stern words from Mum, I realised I did really love my food and that there was better more healthy ways to keep weight off.

By the time I was 15  I was about 10 and a half stone, and I didn't think much about what I ate, and when I started my first really serious relationship my weight soon started spiraling out of control. 

I won't go into the ins and outs, but towards the end the relationship was pretty sour, and I did a serious amount of comfort eating. I just kept getting bigger and I didn't even realise it.

 I ate anything and everything, my worst confession is once eating a 12 multipack bag of crisps, and a big bag of chocolate buttons (now this makes me feel sick) I was literally out of control.

(This is me near my 18th birthday nearly 2 years ago)

At my biggest I weighed a whopping 15 stone 4 lbs, and I was a size 20, everything about this photo makes me feel terrible, particularly the fact you can see my belly button through my dress. YUK!!

After long discussions with my Mum I decided to get help, in February 2012, I met with Bridget Freer and began a course of hypnotherapy, not only to help with weight loss but also to battle the long term issues I had developed with food. 

Since then I have never looked back, I have lost a substantial amount of weight, and I feel so much better and confident. I don't know if I'll ever be able to look in the mirror and like what I see but I am trying extremely hard. 

(This is me last year in June) 

Although I am slightly heavier now that in this picture above, I regularly use it as a reminder for how far I've come. I feel big headed saying I'm proud. But I am. 

I eat 3 meals a day, and I try to exercise as regularly as possible, I had a small break from trying to lose weight but I've decided to kick start again recently as I feel a bit frumpy and not my best. 

I have also started running again after about a 3 month break and was terribly shocked that my once 9 minute mile has crept up to just over 12 minutes (sob sob), but this has only made me more determined to improve. 

Now it's not necessarily about the weight on the scales but how I feel in myself. I no longer weigh myself everyday, or cut things out. I ask mysef if I really need it, or if I'm just eating because I'm bored.

For anybody trying to lose weight or fix bad eating habits Hypnotherapy is incredible, I also have had it for anxiety, and confidence in driving. 

If you are in East Yorkshire and considering it I really recommend Bridget she is a truly awesome person! 

Here's to the rest of my weight journey...

Thank you so much for reading.

Hannah -ox